Well, apparently I suck...

BIGTIME. There's so much wrong with me that it's hard to even just hit the highlights in twenty minutes when you're pouring it out at the speed of sound. It's nothing a guy could work on either. I suffer from deeply ingrained character flaws, perhaps even more than one personality disorder. I'm unambitious (me, small buisness owner by twenty-five!) I'm uncaring (Me, Mr. never-forgets-a-birthday) Basically FAT, LAZY, MEAN, FAT, DORKY, FAT, CHILDISH, FAT, STUPID, FAT, GOOFY and did I mention that I'm FAT. I'm five ten and weight two hundred and twenty pounds. I'm a fatboy, but I'm not that fat. Anyway, being that I'm fat and fatally flawed, she had no choice but to take up with some other guy she met at the gym. She had never realized just how much I sucked until she met someone so marvelous. Then it occurred to her that she just deserved better. Well, good for her! And telling me about it would have been a hassle. So it was just easier to make a clean break while I wasn't there. Perfectly understandable. Goodness, I couldn't wait to help her find just the right earring to wear to her wedding to the guy she dumped me for!