That must be one thorough background check. Not! They needed her to come in at a school specializing in kids with autism. I didn't know school had even started back yet, but this place obviously has. She didn't seem daunted by the task of taking on a new challenge. So I made her a hearty breakfast with plenty of protein, packed her a tasty lunch and insisted on driving her to work. She can bus back if she insists upon it, though I got no problem locking up the shop for forty minutes in the afternoon. I can do that. I'm the boss. I doubt I'll miss a million dollar sale. So I get back with some time before the store opens and who do I spot lingering outside? Oh, you know. SWSNBN, of course. I should have called the police again, but I did not. I unlocked the door and let her blondeful bitchiness in.
"What!" I said. "What do you want from me?'
"My earrings. I just want my earrings."
"I have no idea in this world where they are." I said.
"Let me look for them." She said.
"You can't toss my house." I said. "Didn't the police explain that to you?"
"That's so ridiculous." She said. "I used to live here."
"Well, we used to live together. Can I toss your house?"
"So you'll just punish me until the end of time for having the nerve to leave you? It's the ultimate crime."
"See I have the idea that you're punishing me for something. And I have no clue what that might be."
She snorted in absolute disgust. Her nose wrinkled up. She hated the sight, sound and smell of me. Though I should have smelled okay. I showered, washed my hair and used deodorant and a splash of aftershave that morning. "So you want to ruin my wedding?"
"No, I don't care about your wedding or another." I said. "I wouldn't go out of my way to mess it up for you. Why would I want this hassle, *****?"
"You hate me for leaving you and ruining your life." She said.
"My life is fine." I said. "I was pretty... stunned when you dumped me. But I think I've moved on pretty well. My new girlfriend likes me."
"Yeah, you have a new girlfriend." She said. "Babe, some girls will do anything for a green card."
"Well, now I really want to help you find your earrings." I said.
"Let me look for them." She pleaded. "You can supervise."
"Tell me why you left me." I said. "Why you up and split without so much as a kiss my ass, fat boy."
"You don't want to know." She said.
"Yeah, I really do." I said. "You tell me and I'll give you an hour to look for your earrings."
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