The #$*!ing back door was open...

BECAUSE SOMEONE BROKE THE WINDOW!!!! I called the police and Ellen was on duty. So guess who she caught tossing my house? Oh just guess? Why SWSNBN, of course. Ellen didn't shoot her, even though I asked politely.
"I want my earrings!" She demanded as if she'd not been caught breaking into my house.
"You just broke into my freaking house." I said.
"Well, you changed the locks. What the hell was I supposed to do." SWSNBN countered.
Ellen laughed at that one as did her partner.
"I don't have your earrings." I said.
"The hell you don't you spitelful little tub of lard." SWSNBN said. The look on her face when they handcuffed her was priceless.
She'd pulled everything out of the closets we'd just spent an evening arranging. I just sat down on the floor and beat my head against the wall a bit.
Maricel sat down beside me and grinned. "The bitch is in jail."
"She's so freaking high maintenance. That'll be beautiful." I said.
"How the hell did you end up with that?" She asked.
"She's a hot blonde." I admitted. "And she kind of used to be nice."
"Not as nice as I am." Maricel said and she kissed me. I mean really, really kissed me. Kissed me so good I forgot about the door and probably couldn't have told you SWSNBN actual name if you paid me.

As promised, I took Maricel out for a nice dinner...

We went here and had an excellent time. We were outside on the terrace overlooking the river and the weather was perfect. I asked her over dinner if she was disappointed at how I looked when she met me. "You look just like your picture." She said.
"So do you." I said. "I was a little surprised. I didn't think you'd be so pretty."
"You thought I was a liar?" She laughed.
"I thought nobody as attractive as you would want to meet me." I said.
"Oh, get over yourself." She said sounding perfectly American. "You aren't fat and you certainly aren't unattractive."
"But I'm not skinny and handsome." I said.
"Okay, you win. You're hideous and gigantic." Maricel said. "And I just have poor taste in men. It's really quite sad."
Then we went home to make mad passionate love. Well that was the plan. But you know what they say about the best laid ones of Simon...

See you in the funny papers...
Simon

Very busy day at the Wolfe's Den

Books came in, as well as a bunch of other stuff people have been waiting for and we were steadily busy all day. If we weren't full of customers, I was unpacking and calling people. Maricel was a huge help. She's equal to about 4.5 Weezers. She's still absolutely blowing the customers minds. I should pay her to be store decor. She's also quickly mastered the American monetary system and seems quite capable of making change and running the credit card machine. If you ordered anything, I should have called you. But just in case check the store's site under new arrivals and prepare to have your mind blown some more. I put up a picture of Maricel standing by the new Batman statues. I am definitely taking that girl out for a nice dinner tonight.

See you in the funny papers...
Simon Wolfe

I was a very domestic man...

after dinner. I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the apartment while Maricel spent a couple of hours on-line attending to some stuff. Then I took my snazzy martini set out and mixed us up some cosmopolitans. If all goes well, Maricel will start working on the master's in education next Jaunary or in the summer. She's got to get all of her transcripts and such in order. After we had a drink or three, I checked my e-mail and found that she had sent me some of the erotic comic fan fiction that had enlivened our correspondence over the past few months. I had been planning on e-mailing Danny Anderson, since I'd noticed I hadn't heard from him in three months. But I forgot all about in and went looking for my roommie. I'll get back with y'all in the morning...

See you in the funny papers...
Simon