MARICEL!!!!!

I was dragging my sorry behind through the airport, just hoping I could get some of the airplane funk off before meeting Maricel and somebody called out "Simon!" Since there's a freaking geek convention, there could be any number of people who might recognize me here, but when I turned around there she was. She was wearing the same stupid Superman fanboy T-Shirt as I was , only she was wearing it a whole lot better. She looked just like her picture, only she smelled good, too. She was a whole day late getting in, but she'd gotten stuck in Seattle overnight and gotten in a shower. I apologized for smelling like the floor of a bathroom in a bar.

She pulled on the tail of my T-shirt and said "We're the same." Yeah, I wear the tail out. I'm a tub. Oddly enough, her voice sounded exactly the same as it did on the phone. She's got this slight trace of an accent that you really can't peg. Her English is perfect, but since it's her first language and she teaches it as well, I guess it ought to be. Maybe she can help me with mine. From your many kind e-mails I know that my grammar leaves much to be desired.

Yeah, the Strip is something else and the hotel is wicked...
I'll get around to that.
Weezer left a a voice mail. He says he thinks he took a counterfeit hundred doll bill. But more importantly: One room, two beds and a hot girl taking a shower in the bathroom. I already took one. She brought me some sweet Manga in her suitcase. Yeah, I'm a dork. But the hot chick in my shower is okay with that.

I called Weezer and reminded him not to take hundred dollar bills and that we have a freaking pen that checks for fake bills. He said he started a small fire in the microwave. Jesus Christ.

So just how bad did my flight suck?

To quote Homer Simpson, "It was the suckiest suck that ever sucked!"
A hour late boarding in Detroit, so I missed my flight in Chicago and was stuck at the airport for a four hour layover waiting for my flight. Somehow, even though I've had a reservation for six months, I got bumped to standby. Some people find airports interesting. They literally make me sick. I have no stomach for the smell of fuel or the smell of others. Besides, I needed to save my money for Vegas and those stingy SOBS at Northwest didn't even want to hand out meal vouchers. Not that I was planning on eating. Still on the going-to-meet Maricel diet. God forbid she should see the real me. I've been sending her nothing but tight face shots, like that was somehow better than my butterball body. There was a screaming kid sitting right behind me all the way from Chicago to Vegas. I guess the adults with him were his parents, but you sure couldn't tell by their actions. Their approach to parenting was just to watch him scream and shake their heads in disbelief at their demon spawn. Then we hit a bad batch of turbulence and the little *#@! projectile vomited on the back on the seat. Only a little got in my hair. All I could think was that Marciel would be saying. "Not only is he fat, but he reeks of vomit." Also of alcohol because the jackass next to me spilled his drink on me. Again, poor Maricel. She'll think she came halfway around the world to meet an obese alcoholic who vomits on himself. When I called Weezer from Chicago he swore the Wolfe's Den was still standing and that the books had come in on time and been placed on the shelves. If you know otherwise, don't tell me.

See you in the funny papers...
Simon Wolfe
Wolfe's Den Comics

Off to Comic Con

Well guys and gals, I'm all packed and ready to go. Tomorrow I'll be in Las Vegas for Comic Con 2006! I'm hoping to see some of you there. But this year, as I've said before, I'm not on the sales floor. It's too much hassle to haul product all the way to Vegas from Toledo and after all the work I put in at the Chicago and Detroit Conventions, I'm ready to have just a little bit of fun. Weezer will be looking after the store (pray for me and all my possessions) To simplfy stuff for him, I've put out three tables of quarter boxes for you to look through. Buy them four at a time as not to confuse him. I've also posted a bunch of stuff to the Ebay store. But nothing will be shipped until I get back from Sin City.

I'm finally gettin' to meet Maricel in person! What, you think that meeting your on-line female friend from overseas in Vegas might not go well? Bah, I say to you. What could go wrong? Even if she turns out not to really be 26 and gorgeous, I'm okay. I'll settle for anything between 18 and 45 and I really don't care if she's fat as long as she doesn't need a scooter to get around. And please, no more nasty comments when I use the word "Fat", being a fatboy myself, I feel free to speak my mind.

I'll post from the convention. See you in the funny papers.

Simon Wolfe
Wolfe's Den Comics