BECAUSE SOMEONE BROKE THE WINDOW!!!! I called the police and Ellen was on duty. So guess who she caught tossing my house? Oh just guess? Why SWSNBN, of course. Ellen didn't shoot her, even though I asked politely.
"I want my earrings!" She demanded as if she'd not been caught breaking into my house.
"You just broke into my freaking house." I said.
"Well, you changed the locks. What the hell was I supposed to do." SWSNBN countered.
Ellen laughed at that one as did her partner.
"I don't have your earrings." I said.
"The hell you don't you spitelful little tub of lard." SWSNBN said. The look on her face when they handcuffed her was priceless.
She'd pulled everything out of the closets we'd just spent an evening arranging. I just sat down on the floor and beat my head against the wall a bit.
Maricel sat down beside me and grinned. "The bitch is in jail."
"She's so freaking high maintenance. That'll be beautiful." I said.
"How the hell did you end up with that?" She asked.
"She's a hot blonde." I admitted. "And she kind of used to be nice."
"Not as nice as I am." Maricel said and she kissed me. I mean really, really kissed me. Kissed me so good I forgot about the door and probably couldn't have told you SWSNBN actual name if you paid me.
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