I went down to the prosecutor's office...

And got to talk with the poor woman who was supposed to be handing my complaint against SWSNBN.
"She hasn't lived there for two years." I said. "She's got no business breaking in."
"She says you stole her earrings." Assistant Prosecutor Donna Krieger read from a file.
"She decided two years after she moved out that she must have left them behind and that I somehow know where they are. She's done almost three hundred dollars worth of damage trying to get into my house. She broke in twice. It's ridiculous. I'm not interested in dragging this thing out forever. If she'll pay me for the damage, I guess I could let it go. And she has to stay the heck away from my home and my place of business. Coveniently, they're the same place."
"Do you have her earrings?" Ms. Krieger asked.
"No, I don't." I said. "Criminently."
"Criminently?" She laughed.
"I didn't think you were supposed to drop the F bomb around here." I said.
"It's more commonly used than the word and." She said.
"She tries to get in again and I want her shot." I said.